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The never ending loop of attachment and expectation

 A sense of attachment and the desire to have pleasant experiences are part of our nature. As human beings, we are attached to feeling good, comfortable, and secure, and to things we think will make us happy. 

Attachment is the feeling of being emotionally dependent on a situation, object, or person. In addition to overindulging in or seeking food, drink, power, fame, or principles, strong attachments can manifest in ways that are potentially harmful, such as gambling and addiction.

The idea of living without desire is unrealistic. Wanting is fine, but when we become too attached to our desires, we risk becoming trapped. If we keep chasing pleasure even when it may be unwise or unhealthy, for example, this attachment becomes an obstacle. Even though pleasure is a good thing, attachment and desire can distort our perception of reality. Reality is always changing and includes a mix of pleasant and unpleasant experiences. When we pursue desire to the exclusion of reality, suffering can happen, and happiness may become harder to attain.

Whenever a desire is obstructed or when what we want is slipped from us, we may become angry or fearful. Our dependence on desired outcomes must be reduced. While we can pursue our desires, we must also be able to drop them when necessary. Our desires can be embraced, but they should not be bound by them. They should not be allowed to rule our lives.

Controlling the Desire for Control

As we strive to control the external, we may lose control over the internal. We may become angrier when things don't turn out the way we expect when we try to control things, other people, or situations. Understanding that the desire for control leads to anger and a hindrance to happiness can change our perspective on desire. By reducing our need to control situations and other people, we can accept the feelings associated with not getting what we want.

Human beings are unable to avoid expectations. In other words, expectations are the gap or discrepancy between what we have and what we want. Expectations often lead to disappointment, which can result in anger. We lose power when we have expectations. Therefore, in order to reduce disappointment and anger, we need to adjust our expectations and decrease our attachment to them. As long as we set our expectations as a "wish list" rather than a "need list," we will experience less anger.

We must own our expectations, choices, and feelings when it comes to empowering ourselves. It's not someone else's fault we feel angry; it's our own fault. Life is full of expectations; it is our choice whether or not to attach ourselves to them.


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